In the End
by SuperNothing
Summary: Can I ask you a question?" "You can try." L returns from the grave to ask Light the questions that he was never able to when he was alive. Set during the final episode of Death Note where Light sees L before he dies. R&R Please.


**A/N:** This little ditty has been floating around in my head for months now, and I'm ashamed to say that I'm only now bothering to type it up. This is my take on what happened on the last episode of Death Note when Light saw L just before he died. I know that I'm probably not the only one who's thought of a story like this, so if I'm stealing someone else's idea know that that wasn't my intention.

Anyways The title of this fic. came from the song. 'In the End' by Linkin Park. It's a terrific song, and I think it really defines Light & L's relationship. I'd also recommend listening to it if you haven't heard it before.

* * *

**In the End**

"Light, can I ask you a question?"

"You can try."

"Why?"

"Why, what? Why did I do what I did? Why did I kill countless numbers of people? Why did I deliberately set it up so that YOU were killed? You're the brilliant detective L. Why don't you tell me?"

"That's not what I meant." L said quietly as he shook his head. His, normally emotionless, eyes betraying a hint of sadness as he stared down at Light Yagami. Who lay dieing not even a yard away from him.

"Then what are you talking about? As much as I might have wanted to, at one time, I can't read your mind. Stop being so cryptic." Light spat out bitterly as he raised his head enough to glare at the detective who he had finally managed to defeat almost a year ago. He didn't know why this was happening, but he supposed it made sense. If their was such a thing as the after life, and he now knew that there was, it would only make sense that it would be L that he would be seeing moments before his own death. Since there had been so many things that had been left unsaid between them.

L paused as he stared into the eyes of the dying man._ 'Even being an inch from death his eyes haven't lost that fire. That unearthly determination that screams for him to fight until the last breath is stolen from his body.'_

"No, your not even close to being able to read my mind... In the end, however, it doesn't really matter. Both you and I lost our lives. I'm just sad that it was for two completely different reasons." L said as he closed the remaining distance between them. Moving himself so he sat on the steps beside Light Yagami. He drew his legs against his chest then turned to study the younger man.

"I've often wondered, since my death, why I always tried to ignore the signs? Even though there were more than enough of them. I always tried to convince myself that you were good, and I was just being paranoid. Had you been anyone else I wouldn't have hesitated to have you arrested if I'd suspected, even a little, that you were Kira. Why do you think that that was, Light?"

Light sighed and rolled his eyes at the detective pausing at second as a wave of dizziness hit him, but refusing to show any weakness in front of L. "If you've come here just to ask me idiotic questions like that then you're not the genius that I thought you were. If you've got a point, L, then make it."

"All that I'm asking you now leads up to the point that I'm making. But you must answer what I ask of you in order for you to see it yourself."

Light growled in frustration._ 'Figures that the last thing I would get to do before I'm sentenced to Hell is to be trapped in another pointless banter with him. As if Hell itself isn't enough of a punishment.'_

"I don't know, L! Maybe you were just didn't want to loose me as you adversary?! We are both equals where intelligence is concerned. If I were you, and I had the choice of being chained to either Light Yagami or Touta Matsuda, then I would have picked myself over him."

"No, Light. If you were me then, I suppose, I would have been you, and I would have had to hold you in my arms as you died. All the while pretending to everyone around me that your death actually meant something more to me than a victory."

"Your point, L!" Light reminded him stiffly. Not seeing how any of this would get the detective to leave him in peace any quicker.

L sighed as he looked into the eyes of the serial killer who had managed to fool him for such a long time. "When I first met you, in the back of my mind I was certain without any doubt what-so-ever, that you were Kira. And yet, no matter how many times I questioned you, or how many tests I put you through, you always managed to almost convince me otherwise.

"The more time I spent with you the more my suspicions began to vanish. Until I found myself hoping, for the first time in my career, that I had originally been mistaken. And so, I began to make myself believe that I was mistaken. I never had you arrested, Light Yagami, because as time went on I began to care about you enough to make myself believe that you weren't Kira. And, in the end, my attachment for you was my down fall."

Light could do nothing more than stare at L. His foggy mind checking L's words for any hidden message, or cryptic details, that he had missed the first time L had spoken the words.

"You have no reason to do that." L said suddenly, as if reading his mind, and startling Light away from his thoughts. "I'm dead, and soon you will be as well. There is no reason for us to hide anything from one another any longer. But now, I believe, you know enough about my reasons for me to voice my question to you."

Light raise an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that you want to ask me something else!? Honestly, L, before I die I'd like some peace and quiet."

"Peace and quiet are over-rated."

"This coming from YOU! A man who used to lock himself away for days at a time just so he could analyze every single insignificant detail that had ever happened on one of his cases!? I'd thought you'd be the last person to say something like that."

L smiled sadly at him. "Death has a way of changing ones way of thinking... As you will find out soon enough."

Light snorted then winced at the pain that briefly shot through his broken body. "As you keep reminding me."

"Forgive me."

"Whatever. Just ask your damned question and leave me in peace."

"Why did you lie to me?"

Light looked at L as if he had just announced that he was giving up chocolate and sugar. "Isn't it obvious! You were a detective who's sole purpose was to find out Kira's identity. I'm Kira! I think it's pretty easy for you to piece together if you think about it for a second."

"Light, let me ask you this-"

"No, L! I don't want to do your little 'run-around-in-circles' bullshit! Get to the fucking point for once in your life!!!"

"You kissed me." L said quietly as he turned to stare at the filthy walls in front of him. Trying his best to hide the raging emotions that rested just below the surface of his cool collected exterior.

"What?!" Light hissed bitterly hoping that this conversation wasn't going where he thought it was.

"When we were chained together... You kissed me. You told me that you were... fond of me, and that when the case was solved you wanted to remain by my side as my..." L trailed off not daring to say the cursed word that had made him feel so tainted and dirty when he had found out Kira's true identity.

"Wh... What does this have to do with anything?"

"Everything." L whispered as he once again turned to Light his cool hand moving to brush away some of the boys hair that had fallen over his eyes. "I need to know if anything you told me that night was real, or if it was all an act to further make me believe your innocence."

Light looked away when L touched him. The fingers instantly cooling his burning body. "Does it matter anymore?" He whispered just as softly as L had a second before.

"To anyone other than myself? No, it doesn't."

Light glanced at him briefly, but quickly looked away. He blinked a couple of times to try and clear his, increasingly blurred, vision. "If I had met you under any other circumstances, L, then I'd like to believe that those would be my real feelings towards you. You're the only person that was in this world that I would have proudly called my equal. So I believe that, had we not been enemies from the start, I could have very easily fallen in love with you."

"Then, you're saying..."

"I'm saying that, when I said that I loved you, I was lying."

L sighed his arms tightening around his legs briefly before he nodded slowly. "So, now we've come back to my question. Why did you lie to me?"

Light looked at him for a second before turning away again. Inwardly smirking at L's antics. _'Figures that he would continue to jerk me around even though I told him not to. Some things never change.' _"I was desperate." He said quietly through clenched teeth. "You were growing more and more suspicious of me that I knew I had to do something, or you would have figured out my identity. And since we'd already spent so much time together I thought that telling you I was in love with you was something that you would have easily believe."

"It's hard to believe in something that you've never known before..." L whispered as be started to bite on his thumb his eyes were strangely glassy as he stared at something that only he could see in the distance. "But your confession didn't win you my favor, Light. If anything it only convinced me more that you were Kira. Because it seemed like the kind of stunt that Kira would pull. If you could have manipulated my emotions enough for me to love you in turn then it would have made it that much more difficult for me had I been able to prove that you really were Kira. And also, given time, I could have been broken enough by my love for you that I would have revealed my real name to you."

"Why must you always think of everything from every angle like that? It gets annoying after awhile."

L smiled, a soft sad smile, before his eyes came again to rest on Light. "Because if I didn't then I would have been killed long before I met you."

With that said L stood and stretched stuffing his hands into his pockets after he had finished. "I suppose that it's time I give you the peace and quiet that you're so desperately seeking."

"No! L, wait!" Light shouted before he could think about what he was doing. He reached up for the man, and grabbed for his pants leg. Surprised when his fingers actually met with fabric instead of just the thin air he'd been expecting.

L turned to stare down at him the question in his eyes.

Despite his weakened state Light felt his face burn as he looked into those questioning dark eyes. Finally he looked away, but tightened his fingers on the fabric in his hands. "Stay with me."

L's eyes widened slightly. "But I thought-"

"I changed my mind... I just... I don't want to be alone anymore. For years now I've had to distance myself from everyone around me. I just... I'd like someone to be with me when I die."

"Even if that someone is me?"

"Especially if that someone is you."

L felt his, barely hidden, emotions rage against the desperate look that Light was giving him. He shouldn't have stayed. This was, after all, the boy that had managed to lie to him for countless years. The heartless blood thirsty monster that was responsible for hundreds of deaths. Including his own.

But even as the thoughts ran through his mind he once again seated himself beside Light, going as far as to grasp Light's hand in his own. L knew, as he once again brushed away the hair that had fallen in front of Light's eyes, that he couldn't have denied the boys last request. Whether he was Kira or not.

Because those words, that had been spoken to him that fateful night, had changed something inside of him. They had broken through the barriers that he had built around his heart. The restraints that he had placed on himself to protect and distance himself from everyone around him. And they had allowed him to experience something that he had never thought himself capable of. Love.

As he looked upon the dying man's face L couldn't stop himself from leaning over and kissing him softly on the lips.

Light didn't protest when he felt L's lips gently touch his own. The part of him that was Kira wanted to tell himself that it was because he was so tired, but he knew that even if he hadn't been about to die he wouldn't have anyway. Because it didn't matter that his words had been a lie then, and it didn't matter that he and L were still technically enemies. All that mattered was now during this moment. And in this moment they both wanted to indulge in something that they had both only ever dreamed about while they had been alive.

L finally pulled away, knowing without having to look, that while they had been kissing Light had taken his final breaths. His eyes came to rest of Light's eyes noting that the fire, that had once burned so brightly within them, had been extinguished. He sighed as he brought his hand up and closed Light's eyes.

"I love you too, Light Yagami." He said softly replying to the words that Light had spoken to him almost a lifetime ago. He stood and walked away from the body of his enemy, the one that he loved. He vanished before his feet ever reached the bottom of the stairs leaving no indication he had ever been there at all.

_'I tried so hard_

_And got so far_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall_

_To lose it all_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter'_


End file.
